My Word for 2020

I'm not surprised by the pictures chosen for my Instagram Top 9 of 2019 - weddings and babies with some faith reflections sprinkled in there - sounds about right. . .

2019 was the year of giant moves from CT to OH, starting a new job, tons of wedding prep, marrying my best friend, traveling to Thailand and Japan, finding out we're pregnant, adding a puppy to the mix and making preparations for a kitchen and bath remodel that will start in the new year.

So, I had to laugh when Jen Fulwiler's Word of the Year Generator displayed "pause" as my suggested inspiration for 2020. This year has been filled to the brim with newness and transition, with hopeful beginnings and growing pains, with joyful hellos and aching goodbyes -

- but to be honest, I don't know that I've taken the time to process these memories or really let them sink in. The good and the bad have rushed by, swept away by the momentum of what's to come next.

I don't think it's a coincidence that in much of my prayer this Advent, I've felt Jesus gently encouraging me to slow down and rest, to sit in the quiet and just be.

I need to soak everything in and process.

I need to pay attention and reflect.

I need to pause.

Easier said than done, but I find consolation in these little reminders and winks from God that keep showing up - even via a random word generator.

Here's to 2019. Thanks for being one of the best years ever. I cannot wait to see what 2020 has in store.

Happy New Year, friends!

Peace,
Sarah

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Merry Christmas 2019

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love,
The Roses

 (minus Zelie because she refused to be in a picture - not that Millie did much better. . . enjoy some outtakes below.)

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Holiday Work Party

I've always been a skirt and dress kinda girl. Not necessarily fancy, but I especially find dresses to be an easy way to look put together and only have to worry about shoes to match instead of multiple pieces. Plus, if you add tights to the look, it works for all seasons!

Skirts are basically the same with just a tad more effort. In my wardrobe, that basically means tucking in a black or white top and calling it a day. I clearly spend a lot of time getting ready ;)

On Friday we had a celebratory Mass and Christmas luncheon for work. M and I had gone Christmas shopping the night before and I kept my eyes pealed for a potentially party outfit as we browsed, but I didn't see anything that caught my interest and decided to just work with something I had at home.

As I sifted through my winter clothes, which are still in a bin because much of it doesn't work with the new baby bump, I noticed the plaid skirt I wore last year for Christmas and decided to give it a try.

I had to wear it at my ribs instead of my hips, but it zipped! And it didn't look half bad with a plain black sweater I also had from before pregnancy! Adding my Blanqi leggings (I told you I wear them non-stop) and some black booties made it work appropriate and festive too!

I will say, stretchy skirts are a lot easier to work into maternity options (I don't see this skirt fitting past New Years lol). But it is fun going through the clothes that I have and seeing what new outfits I can create with as few new pieces as possible. (All pants and leggings are maternity at this point with the exception of one pair of jeans that I can still do the hair-tie trick with.)

Peace,
Sarah

PS - here's the skirt worn non-maternity for reference. This was only last year and we both look like babies!

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Befriending Mary in Advent

I’m certainly not the first pregnant woman during Advent that has found herself pondering a new connection to Mama Mary. And perhaps it’s not just the time of year, but the act of carrying life inside of me that has sparked those feelings and reflections. Maybe I would feel similarly if I were pregnant in June or July . . . or maybe there’s something special about this overlap of seasons where we wait in joyful hope.

I’ve written about my love for Advent before. I like to shout from the rooftops the wonder I feel anticipating Emmanuel, my favorite name for Christ. A normally impatient person, this season annually calms my urgency and allows my heart to settle and wait for what I know is coming and miraculously has already come – “ever ancient, ever new”. 

This year I find myself leaning into this mysterious paradox in a new way. A baby is coming and is already here. 

I sense this with every flutter of movement I feel in my belly. I can see it quite literally as my abdomen wiggles and moves when our little love dances around inside of me. 

Newness is coming. 

And while that is good news, it's not always easy. It's painful and exhausting and can surface fears you thought had already been rooted out of your heart. But it's also exciting and good and altogether ineffable. 

The hope Mary knew amidst all of this change surpassed all fear.  She actively accepted Gabriel's announcement and proceeded to carry the Light of the World knowing full well the hardship that was to come - both in the immediate and in the future. 

As we move closer to Christmas, the repeated question of, “Mary, did you know?”  is sung beautifully on the radio and holiday playlists in various harmonies and instrumentations. With an understanding of her upbringing as a devout Jewish woman, we can say with certainty that Mary would have known the answers to the questions posed in the lyrics of this sweet song. But does that mean she knew everything that was to come with pregnancy and childbirth and mothering too?

I don’t think so.

I sense Mary underwent some of the same fears and anxieties of motherhood that I currently am and I find deep comfort and consolation reflecting on that possibility. A woman who often feels too far off and out of reach in her perfection is slowly becoming personable and relatable to my new mother’s heart in this season of preparation.

Could not Mary have also felt nervous about the pain of labor and delivery? Even with solid examples of motherhood around her, might she have questioned her own ability to be a good mom?

Surely she, too, wondered and even worried about her new life as wife and mother and Theotokos on top of it all.

And therein lies the beauty of her perpetual fiat, her yes to God. She knew, despite not knowing, that He would provide and be with her every step of the way.

So there it is again, that beautiful paradox that I love to lean into this time of year. Knowing, yet not knowing. Seeing, yet not seeing. Trusting fully in God’s presence and provision – that which has already happened and yet is continuing to unfold.

God is with us, and yet we still wait in joyful hope for deeper understanding of our Emmanuel.

Peace,
Sarah

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26 Weeks and Getting Ready for Christmas

 

I get weekly pregnancy updates emailed to me that usually include some reference to the size of a baby at each week and what symptoms might be included. Today it said something about week 26 being the last week of the second trimester! It also acknowledged that some consider week 27 the last, but either way you spin it, this baby is coming.

And while I am eager with anticipation to meet this little peanut (and find out if it's a boy or girl!), I am acutely aware that there are roughly a million things left to do to prepare for his or her arrival. Construction planned for the house has placed nursery nesting on hold as it will make some changes to that space. We have a solid name for a boy chosen and two first name options for a girl but can't decide on a middle name. And don't even get me started on choosing godparents. . . 

But even with our long to-do list and feelings of not being quite ready, I know that what needs to get done will and all the pieces will slowly fall into place. 

Are you ever really "ready", anyway?

  

Lately Christmas preparations and Advent practices have been at the front of my mind. I'm still trying to decide if I'm using them as a distraction from the speed at which this babe is growing. The intentionally slow pace of the Advent season doesn't seem to be slowing down my expanding belly and I'm still trying to fathom how it can possibly get any bigger. But with each kick and stretch this tiny person does inside of me, I am filled with awe and wonder and joyful hope.

Tis the season, I suppose.

Being pregnant this time of year naturally has me reflecting on Mary being pregnant with Jesus. (And how in the world she rode on a donkey while being that far along in her pregnancy. No thank you.) I'm working on a post to share some of that reflection and hope to have it ready soon. 

(It's about being pregnant during Advent, not riding a donkey.) 

Sweater | Skirt | Booties | Hair Clip | Bracelet | Rosary Bracelet

(Linking to similar items)

I'm still working on embracing this new body of mine and figuring out how to dress it outside of the leggings and sweatshirts I've been wearing around the house. For workdays, I've been trying to stay semi-stylish without breaking the bank in buying a whole new wardrobe. 

I have gotten a few pieces of maternity gear over these 26 weeks (my Blanqi leggings are probably my favorite), but I've also been able to adapt clothes that I already had hanging in my closet. Thank goodness for oversized sweaters and stretch skirts, amiright?

I bought this skirt over two years ago from the Loft outlet and wear it all the time. In the summer I add a tank or blouse and sandals and in the fall or winter tights, sweaters and booties make it work. It's near the top of my list for Christmas Mass options this year - partly because I don't have many options that fit and partly because I love it so much ;)

Do you know what you're wearing for Christmas yet? Any mamas out there with clever ideas for inexpensive maternity looks? I'm all ears.

Peace,

Sarah

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23 Weeks Pregnant - Trying to Embrace Change

I had Mike take these pictures of me last week in efforts to better document this growing babe of ours. Those 5ish photos previously shared on Instagram are just about the only ones I've had taken during these 23 (well now about 24) weeks of pregnancy.

Overall, my pregnancy has been relatively easy. I've had all the "normal" symptoms at all the "typical" times and thankfully they have been very mild. Some morning sickness the first trimester, but never any vomiting. Some heartburn the past few weeks, but rarely bad enough to grab the antacids.

I've been incredibly lucky.

Poncho | Sweater | Leggings | Shoes | Earrings

What has been the hardest part, is something I've struggled with since I was little: body-image.

Changes to my body while pregnant were obviously to be expected, but I don't think I realized how quickly old wounds and warped mindsets would return as soon as things began to look and feel different.

It's been a wild ride.

But as I'm adjusting and getting over the shock of those initial negative feelings, I'm finding myself wishing I had been documenting this process from the beginning.

There are about 20 weeks of this pregnancy that I all but refused to document and I can never have that time back or look through images that articulate how amazing my body and the changes it had made to grow a human are.

And with that in mind, and also knowing how much blogging (aka forcibly sharing photos of myself) in the past helped with my self-esteem (as weird as that might seem), I plan to start sharing outfit posts again.

I'm not yet sure how frequently. And let's be real, the wardrobe has been drastically reduced as the bump has grown. But forcing myself in front of the camera, instead of my preferred placement behind it, helps me to see the difference between a photo of me being bad and the way I look being bad.

(I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me, but I also don't know that it has to.)

All of this is not to say that I snapped my fingers and am suddenly feeling amazing about how I look 5 months pregnant. Or that I don't have bouts of fear knowing that there's still about 16 weeks of changes and growth to go.

It's something I am wrestling with daily and something I have an amazing community of friends and prayer warriors helping to carry me through. (You ladies know who you are <3 )

But I don't want to look back at this experience and be upset that I let fear and negativity have the upper hand. I cannot wait to hold this sweet little babe of ours, but I don't want to wish away this time either.

There's a balance waiting to be found and I'm hopeful that with some intentionality, I can come close to finding it.

I suppose we'll see.

(On a lighter note, having M means I don't necessarily have to be that weird girl posing for photos with her tripod. . . ah, marriage.)

--

If you've made it to the end of this post, thanks for sticking with me. I will forever be grateful for this little corner of the internet where I can share my heart, whether there's someone on the other end reading or not.

(Though sometimes I would prefer not lol. Being vulnerable is hard.)

Peace,
Sarah

PS here's a blooper for posterity's sake

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2019 Advent-ures

I. Love. Advent.

I've probably shared it before (if not here than definitely on Instagram) that Advent is my favorite liturgical season and possibly my favorite time of the year.

(Wreath DIY can be found HERE in the Advent-ure post from 2015.)

There is something so incredible about preparing for Christ's birth while already knowing that Jesus has come. That beautiful tension of the already, but not yet, is a mystery that I love leaning into and journeying with as I anticipate the coming of Emmanuel - my favorite name for Jesus.

God is with us, friends. Maybe not always in the flashiest, most clear of ways, but God is here and what a gift the Incarnation is to the world.

--

This year, to prepare for Christmas (cue Godspell music), my plan is to do the following:

1) Read and journal through this year's Blessed is She Advent AND Christmas Devotional. 

I had the privilege of contributing to this year's book with the rest of the team and am so excited to dive into stories of family as we reflect on "All the Generations - From Genesis to You".

If you haven't gotten a copy yet, you can still purchase one from the Blessed is She shop. The digital download might be the way to go if you want to start right away, but you could wait for a hard copy too.

(Cyber Monday there will be a site-wide sale of 25% off!)

2) Read the Gospel of Luke.

The book club I am a part of decided to read this book of Scripture for December with the intention of reading a chapter each day from Dec 1 - 24 (Christmas Eve) since there are 24 chapters. I also ordered two commentaries on Luke from Amazon ( 1 | 2 ) in hopes of digging a little deeper because I'm a Theology nerd lol

3) Recite the St. Andrew Christmas Novena with Michael each day. 

I've done this for the past 3 years or so and always find helpful in prayerfully entering into the season. Here's a post Blessed is She shared last year about it if you're interested. It's never too late to start!

Erica from Be A Heart designed this gorgeous print of the prayer. It's sold out now, but there are a ton of other beautiful pieces in her shop, and maybe it will be restocked in the future :)

4) Do a sort of "Reverse Advent Calendar" with Michael.

Each day of Advent, M and I plan to choose something from our closet to donate to a local charity. So often the Christmas/Advent season focuses on getting and we are looking for small ways to remind us of our call to give. Our hope is that this will just be a starting point. There are so many other ways to support our brothers and sisters in need, but we need to begin somewhere.

(I'm not sure if this is even how you are supposed to do one, but this is our plan.)

--

As with most of my planning, I am flexible and open to changes and adjustments. Sometimes multiple to-do's shrink to one solid one. Other times I have found something else I like and decide to add it partly through the season.

No matter how this particular Advent turns out, my one hope is to remain focused on the reason for the season (as absolutely cheesy as that sounds).

God is with us friends.

I pray we all are able to notice this more during this season of Advent and the rest of the year too.

Peace,
Sarah

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