Currently January

Y'all, I move this weekend. I seriously can't believe it. I've been so productive the past few days home and am so thankful I decided to spend them getting things set in CT instead of taking the extra week in OH. I've been cleaning, packing, reading, working out and even blogging. Let's keep this energy up, shall we.

Seriously though. Can I bottle it somehow? Work starts again tomorrow morning and I am already dreading that alarm.

I'm a little late to the game but still wanted to join in on Anne's "Currently" link-up this month. It's a great way to get some creativity flowing and even begin some of those to-do lists.

Choosing - joy. Actively, intentionally, and radically. I've been noticing how my body, mind and spirit are affected in certain situations and certain conversations. Rather than giving into negative thoughts and patterns, I am choosing to find joy in all things and to remove myself from those environments that simply do not bear fruit or bring light into my heart. Easier said than done, but the ever-present optimist in me is hopeful.

Tidying - my whole apartment. The movers are coming on Friday and after a final deep clean once everything is gone, I am officially moving! It has been a lot of work, but I will say it finally forced me to sit down and organize boxes and bins that have accumulated in the past 3 years and even from before that in previous homes.


Resolving - to not wait until New Years Day or a specific date to start chasing my dreams and goals. I posted a little bit about this on January 1st and hope to continue striving to make today and every day the best it can be - all for the greater glory of God (AMDG)

Refreshing - /reseting my focus on the wedding planning. We've had the majority of the big items checked off of our list since late summer/early fall which is such a blessing considering how much of my time and energy the new job, move and just life in the midst of it all has taken. I've been fortunate with the ease of it all (definitely a consolation and affirmation that this is the right move), but adding wedding planning on top of everything would have been overwhelming. Now that other things are in place, we can refocus on our special day and lifetime to come.

Exploring - possible Honeymoon destinations. As with most of the wedding planning, I am super indecisive/ happy with just about anything, so this has been interesting. I'd love to go someplace new to me, but would also love to show M around some of my favorite destinations. We are pretty active and love exploring, couldn't do more than a day or two on a beach, and hope to go abroad. Any and all suggestions are welcome!


So what about you, friend? What are you up to this month? How is your January shaping up? I'd love to hear!

Peace,

Sarah

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Braces and Imago Dei

For those of you who haven't noticed as I've slowly allowed it to be seen on social media, I got braces.

Like actual I'm-an-awkward-middle-schooler braces.

For some reason when the dentist told me they would be clear braces, I assumed like an Invisalign type deal, but alas, they were not. And I didn't realize it until they were on.

And then I cried. A lot.

I don't know if it was the shock of seeing something completely unexpected, the pain of the braces themselves, or my lack of self-esteem that did it, but I was a wreck.

My smile has always been something I am sensitive about. I have a severe overbite (that can only be fixed by breaking my jaw, yikes!) and odd gaps and crowding that I think make the overbite even more pronounced. That combined with other insecurities about my physical appearance have made wedding planning and even just thinking about all eyes on me / all the pictures  h a r d .

Once M and I were talking marriage, I knew that I would want to at least try to correct my teeth for our wedding because of how insecure they make me. We got engaged and the anxiety surround my teeth got real.

M was supportive, though he insisted he thought my smile was perfect, but I don't think I took that encouragement and love seriously until he "yelled" at me about it a day or so after the braces were put on. (I put yell into quotations because I don't think my insanely kind fiance has ever actually yelled at, or even near me, but this was pretty close.)

We were driving to a school event and I was in a horrid, self-pitying mood complaining about how I looked and he tried to assure me he thought I was beautiful. In typical Sarah fashion I said something along the lines of a sarcastic "sure" and he had had it.

In the most angered tone I have ever heard from him, Michael let me know how upset he was that I didn't believe him when he told me I was beautiful and how frustrating it was when I brushed of his sincere compliments (which I have a horrible habit of doing). He was hurt by my lack of confidence - in myself and in him.

His words and love hit me hard. They still do.

And while he is clearly not God, I couldn't help but think of how much more hurt and frustrated my loving Creator is by this self-hatred and constant self-scrutiny.

(Photo by Matt Erickson)

I was created in the image and likeness of God. We all were. (Yes, that means you too.)

And with that amazing, miraculous gift, comes a responsibility to recognize it! That doesn't mean that I'll never fall into slumps like this autumn. That doesn't mean it's not ok to want to better myself, even in the physical sense. But what it does mean is that I am loved beyond measure and need to remember that, even in tough moments of self doubt.

In the Advent bundle this year, Blessed is She included a gorgeous magnificat candle and imago Dei wristlet. TBH, the candle was the only reason I bought the bundle (they weren't available individually yet). I knew I could find a friend who'd like the extra devotional, but didn't know what I would do with the wristlet. It was cute, but I didn't really have a use for it.

(Candle found HERE)

But then I remembered that I needed to start carrying a toothbrush more regularly (yay braces) and wouldn't you know it, the wristlet marked with words speaking to my inherit value and dignity was just the right size and just the right reminder.

(Wristlet found HERE)

You are loved friend - unconditionally, irrevocably and ineffably. I pray you (and I) can remember that always, especially at times when it's most difficult.

Peace,
Sarah

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Welcome 2019

2018 is going to be a hard year to top, but I have a feeling 2019 is up for the challenge.

This is the year I move home to Ohio after 7 years away.

The year I begin my dream job in college campus ministry after three wonderful years in secondary ed.

The year I marry my best friend.

And the year we move into our home and begin our lives together.

There's a lot happening. Some soon (I move in less than 2 weeks). Some later (179 days until our wedding). Some that I don't even know are coming.

New Years seems to be the time that everyone sets goals and resolutions to make the coming year the best yet. I am all for goal setting, but why is it we wait for January 1st to put our best selves forward? Every day is what you make of it. Don't wait until a certain date to start anew. Start right now, where ever you are, in this moment - whether you're reading this the day it's posted or four months from now. Just start! You can do it! You are capable and you are loved.

I'm not really setting new resolutions this year, but if I had to, I guess it would be to not wait for the new year to make resolutions.

I have goals in mind that aren't 2019 specific and that I have been working toward for a bit now. I have dreams I am chasing and others I can't wait to chase with my husband-to-be. And I know there will be more dreams to come this year that I can't even fathom yet.

What a gift it is that God grants us new days, new moments, and new chances to chase our dreams
a l l   t h e   t i m e !  Take that gift and run with it friend. I can't wait to see where you end up and what dreams you catch.

Happy New Year, loves. May this be the best yet.

Peace,
Sarah

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