Last year I began the tradition of adopting a saint for the new year - or having a saint adopt me for the year as my friend, Beth, would describe it. This saint would be someone holy to look to for inspiration for the year - a role model of faith that would also give me a glimpse into the Church's history.
On a whim, I decided to ask Michael if he would like to do the same. Of the two of us, I am definitely the more nerdy when it comes to our faith. I love learning about new saints, theology, prayers, etc. and he lovingly joins in when I offer the invitation.
We were driving to mass on New Years Eve and I told him about my new saint for the year and asked if he would be interested in having one too. He answered yes and as we were using the saint generator it came to the prompting message to pray for God to introduce to a saint who will accompany you through the year. I asked Michael if he would like to say a prayer and he asked what that he was "supposed" to say. I explained what it could look like and he listened intently and then began to pray. I could tell he was nervous and felt unsure if he was "doing it right".
It was beautiful - authentic and raw and amazing, just like he is whenever we pray together.
I was in tears. Not just because of the beauty behind his words, but also the fear.
He, like myself and so many others, had this false notion that there is a wrong way to pray - that unless you get the words completely right, your prayer is wrong or foolish or something else. It breaks my heart that praying has become something we fear doing. It is so much easier to read a pre-written prayer and yes, those can be beautiful, but so can our own words.
We all have the ability to talk with God - to open up to our Creator and speak from the heart. At first it may feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but I have found the more I practice, the more naturally it comes and the more I feel at ease in praying.
And so I guess I share this as a reminder to us all not to get caught up in the lie that we "aren't doing it right" or that our words aren't good enough. God doesn't want perfect prayer, he just wants to spend time with you.
Peace,
Sarah
PS - Michael's saint for the year is St. Hedwig and mine is St. Genevieve whose father's name was Severus... God's funny sometimes ;)