Michael and I met at a mutual friend's wedding in September of 2016. I had just moved to Connecticut after grad school and came home to Ohio for the event. Meeting someone at the wedding was the furthest thing from my mind. My most recent relationship had been nearly two years of long distance and I was not interested in getting back on that boat any time soon - if ever.
And yet, after a night of dancing, months of talking, a visit home, his visit here, and even turning him down when he first asked to be exclusive, there was no denying the pull on my heart to give this man and this relationship a chance.
Thankfully, in February, after 484 days of distance (not that I was counting), M joined me here on the East Coast. It was sooner than we had anticipated. A colleague needed a roommate, we were both pretty done with the whole distance thing and it turned out he would be able to transfer pharmacies way smoother than we could have ever imagined. It was such a whirlwind and honestly, couldn't of happened any easier had we spent months planning it. God has been so good to us.
Now that we're done with distance and I'm not solely focused on how hard it was to maintain, I find myself looking back and am so thankful for all of the love and memories that our time together while apart created.
I'm often asked how we kept our relationship fun while living hundreds of miles apart, so I thought I'd share some of our favorite date nights via Skype. I consulted with Mike prior to writing this post, and he has given his seal of approval on the selections shared.
1.) Cook a Meal Together - About once a month M and I would pick a night we wanted to have dinner together and choose a meal to cook. That evening we would Skype as we prepared the meal and then sit down at our dinner tables and eat "together". It was a great way to learn new recipes, teach one another new cooking tricks, and just spend time together. Plus it put my mind at ease to see he was eating something other than mini muffins and baby carrots.
2.) Watch a Movie Together - Similar to cooking, we'd also choose movies or shows on Netflix that we wanted to watch with each other (I don't have cable). We said a countdown for pressing the play button and became pretty good at syncing up our televisions. We even began to wait for one another if a new movie was released and we thought the other would like to see it. For the record, I only fell asleep once or twice on these dates which is practically a miracle.
3.) Pray Together - One of my favorite things to do with Michael is pray. There's no wrong way to pray and it's wonderful learning new ways and new prayers to say with the one you love. We pray extemporaneously, follow an Examen via this app, pray novenas, etc. Fun fact, we actually found out that M's pharmacy transfer would happen on the last day of the Immaculate Conception Novena after a bit of a scare that it wouldn't be possible due to store closings. The news was such a welcomed answer to our prayers.
4.) Play Games Together - We both LOVE board games and thanks to technology and fellow nerds, there are so many apps available to play games on your phone with other people on the same app. Is playing Catan online with strangers the same as playing it in person? No, of course not. But it is still a ton of fun and you don't have to worry about having side conversations while the game is going on when no one else can hear you.
5.) Be Vulnerable Together - This one is not as creative or "fun" as the others, but when I was talking with Mike about what to share, we both agreed that some of the most fruitful Skype dates we had consisted on intentional check-ins on how we were feeling in the relationship and how we could make the other feel more loved even though we were so far a part. Obviously in distance you are going to be doing a lot of talking, but make sure you don't dance around those hard conversations. They may be uncomfortable and they may bring tears, but ultimately they will bring you closer together and allow your relationship to grow in ways that can be stifled by living so far apart.
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Distance is a TON of work and can be exhausting and emotional and life-giving and heartbreaking and exhilarating and all of the feels all at the same time.
It's a lot.
There are days when you'll wonder if it's worth it and there are days when you'll feel closer than ever. And while I am SO glad that we are out of that stage of our relationship, I am incredibly thankful for the time we spent getting to know one another and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Any fellow LDR survivors out there? What were your favorite ways to date while apart?
Peace,
Sarah