Reflections After a Month Back in Ohio

I've been back in Ohio just over a month and it still feels unreal. Maybe it will take being here longer than a summer vacation timeline, but my mind hasn't quite grasped the fact that this is home.

I'm home.

Sure, there is more settling in to do. M and I are working on various projects in his (soon to be our) house whenever we have free time. I'm enjoying living with my college roommate once again and all of the joy being near old friends has brought.

My new job is exciting and filled with so much potential. Some days seem slower than others, but there's been tangible growth even in this short amount of time and I can't wait to see how the Spirit moves.

In the same breath of feeling at home and reconnecting with this community, I miss Connecticut. I miss my friends there. I miss working in a space with more than one other person and clearly knowing the steps I needed to take to be successful in that role. I miss my little apartment and my cat, who is keeping M company until I move in this summer.

It's this weird tension that I constantly find myself in - enjoying what I have, longing for what was, and excitedly anticipating what is yet to come. All the feelings. All the emotions. And all the gratitude for the grace of abundance I can't help but see in it all.

I took some photos of my apartment before I moved out. I have learned that I am not the person who can turn a space into a home instantly, but rather I add to it slowly and steadily until it feels right. I'd finally made it to that point in CT and now I get to begin again in OH. In some ways it's frustrating to have to start over, but in another sense it's exciting.

There's newness and possibility and I am resting in that space, in my new life here, dreaming with God about all the blessings to come.

Peace,
Sarah

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Welcome 2019

2018 is going to be a hard year to top, but I have a feeling 2019 is up for the challenge.

This is the year I move home to Ohio after 7 years away.

The year I begin my dream job in college campus ministry after three wonderful years in secondary ed.

The year I marry my best friend.

And the year we move into our home and begin our lives together.

There's a lot happening. Some soon (I move in less than 2 weeks). Some later (179 days until our wedding). Some that I don't even know are coming.

New Years seems to be the time that everyone sets goals and resolutions to make the coming year the best yet. I am all for goal setting, but why is it we wait for January 1st to put our best selves forward? Every day is what you make of it. Don't wait until a certain date to start anew. Start right now, where ever you are, in this moment - whether you're reading this the day it's posted or four months from now. Just start! You can do it! You are capable and you are loved.

I'm not really setting new resolutions this year, but if I had to, I guess it would be to not wait for the new year to make resolutions.

I have goals in mind that aren't 2019 specific and that I have been working toward for a bit now. I have dreams I am chasing and others I can't wait to chase with my husband-to-be. And I know there will be more dreams to come this year that I can't even fathom yet.

What a gift it is that God grants us new days, new moments, and new chances to chase our dreams
a l l   t h e   t i m e !  Take that gift and run with it friend. I can't wait to see where you end up and what dreams you catch.

Happy New Year, loves. May this be the best yet.

Peace,
Sarah

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Reflections on Reconciliation

I had the privilege of offering a reflection during our Reconciliation Service yesterday and thought I would share it with you all. For a little context, this service was prepared as part of a Lay Presiding course in which we learn how to prepare, plan and facilitate different types of liturgies ranging from Evening Prayer, Taize Prayer, and Liturgy of the Word. The readings we chose to use for this particular service were 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 and Luke 7:36-50.
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When I told my mom that I would be preaching at a reconciliation service she laughed and told me a story of how when she and her cousin Michelle were younger, they loved going to confession. In fact, they loved it so much that they would make up sins just so that they could go again!

Apparently I did not inherit that confession-loving gene, because I am often the complete opposite of my mother in this story. I tend to avoid going to confession like it’s the plague. The idea of reviewing the number of times I have sinned and reciting them to someone is not exactly the most appealing thing to me and causes way more anxiety than it probably should – especially when I usually know all too well those places in my life where I have failed.

I know when I could have been a better friend, a better daughter, a better roommate, colleague, Christian, you name it. And that awareness, that lovely Catholic guilt, often becomes the focal point of my confession when I do go.

But what if the focus was shifted?

What if rather than placing all of the concentration on listing failures, a greater attention was paid to the abounding love and forgiveness shown by God in this beautiful sacrament of Reconciliation? Even just using the word “reconciliation” rather than “confession” completely shifts the tone. In the sacrament we are not just reciting our faults and waiting for our penance. We are doing more than just confessing, we are reconciling. We are looking to restore right relationship with the Divine, to continue striving to know God better and to love the world as God loves.

Today in the Gospel we hear Jesus say “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love.” Because this woman - unnamed and labeled only by the fact that she, like all of us, is a sinner - because she has shown great love, she is forgiven. It did not matter that she had “sins which were many” or even what those sins were. 

She loved. 

She loved and she actively sought to serve God – to get as close to the Beloved as she possibly could. And it is because of that outpouring of courageous love that Jesus said to her, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

“In Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us.”  This is the ministry of reconciliation. It is not intended to be a counting of trespasses, a recitation of sins and a sentencing of penance. Reconciliation is an outpouring of grace in which we recognize the infinite love of God and allow that love to take hold of our hearts as we go out into the world as “ambassadors for Christ”.

So this evening, as you prepare to celebrate the sacrament of Reconciliation, rather than focusing primarily on failures, perhaps pray for openness and receptivity to the endless love of God and a deeper understanding of how we are called not only to recognize that brilliant love, but to share it with our world.
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How are you called to bring the infinite love and goodness of God with the world?

Peace,
Sarah

**Linking up with BlessedisShe and #BISLent

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