Braces and Imago Dei

For those of you who haven't noticed as I've slowly allowed it to be seen on social media, I got braces.

Like actual I'm-an-awkward-middle-schooler braces.

For some reason when the dentist told me they would be clear braces, I assumed like an Invisalign type deal, but alas, they were not. And I didn't realize it until they were on.

And then I cried. A lot.

I don't know if it was the shock of seeing something completely unexpected, the pain of the braces themselves, or my lack of self-esteem that did it, but I was a wreck.

My smile has always been something I am sensitive about. I have a severe overbite (that can only be fixed by breaking my jaw, yikes!) and odd gaps and crowding that I think make the overbite even more pronounced. That combined with other insecurities about my physical appearance have made wedding planning and even just thinking about all eyes on me / all the pictures  h a r d .

Once M and I were talking marriage, I knew that I would want to at least try to correct my teeth for our wedding because of how insecure they make me. We got engaged and the anxiety surround my teeth got real.

M was supportive, though he insisted he thought my smile was perfect, but I don't think I took that encouragement and love seriously until he "yelled" at me about it a day or so after the braces were put on. (I put yell into quotations because I don't think my insanely kind fiance has ever actually yelled at, or even near me, but this was pretty close.)

We were driving to a school event and I was in a horrid, self-pitying mood complaining about how I looked and he tried to assure me he thought I was beautiful. In typical Sarah fashion I said something along the lines of a sarcastic "sure" and he had had it.

In the most angered tone I have ever heard from him, Michael let me know how upset he was that I didn't believe him when he told me I was beautiful and how frustrating it was when I brushed of his sincere compliments (which I have a horrible habit of doing). He was hurt by my lack of confidence - in myself and in him.

His words and love hit me hard. They still do.

And while he is clearly not God, I couldn't help but think of how much more hurt and frustrated my loving Creator is by this self-hatred and constant self-scrutiny.

(Photo by Matt Erickson)

I was created in the image and likeness of God. We all were. (Yes, that means you too.)

And with that amazing, miraculous gift, comes a responsibility to recognize it! That doesn't mean that I'll never fall into slumps like this autumn. That doesn't mean it's not ok to want to better myself, even in the physical sense. But what it does mean is that I am loved beyond measure and need to remember that, even in tough moments of self doubt.

In the Advent bundle this year, Blessed is She included a gorgeous magnificat candle and imago Dei wristlet. TBH, the candle was the only reason I bought the bundle (they weren't available individually yet). I knew I could find a friend who'd like the extra devotional, but didn't know what I would do with the wristlet. It was cute, but I didn't really have a use for it.

(Candle found HERE)

But then I remembered that I needed to start carrying a toothbrush more regularly (yay braces) and wouldn't you know it, the wristlet marked with words speaking to my inherit value and dignity was just the right size and just the right reminder.

(Wristlet found HERE)

You are loved friend - unconditionally, irrevocably and ineffably. I pray you (and I) can remember that always, especially at times when it's most difficult.

Peace,
Sarah