It's a typical Thursday night in my apartment. M has headed home after dinner and a work out. Z is running the length of our space back and forth for no apparent reason. And I am tidying up here and there before it's time to officially call it a night.
It's weird to me that what has become my normal for these past 2.5 years is coming to an end. Sure, my routine has shifted here and there - Michael and I are not longer dating long distance, I now have friends in Connecticut which means I have a (sort of) social life and there are actually things hanging on my apartment walls - but the core of the rhythm is still there.
These are the last few weeks I am going to live on my own. Ever.
In early January I will be making the move back to Ohio that my family has anxiously been waiting these past seven years. From then until our wedding, I will be living with my best friend and former college roommate on the East Side of Cleveland - an area we know and love and where we began our friendship.
Later in January, M will follow to Ohio - returning to his house, soon to be our home. We didn't think his transfer would be so soon and were bracing ourselves for the familiar pangs of distance, but God is generous and our time apart will be short.
It occurred to me tonight, as I was discerning whether to pack a box for the move, that I am actually packing to move into my future home as a married woman- and I can't quite believe it.
I won't be living in the house right away, but the majority of my things (especially furniture) will be headed there, ready to be organized and curated into cozy spaces I will share with my husband in less than 200 days.
Husband.
I'm going to have a husband.
It still doesn't feel real. I don't know if it ever will.
What I did to deserve such a kind, generous man as my partner, I will never know, but I am so incredibly grateful to have him in my life.
Transitions are hard. They take a lot of energy and can stir up a lot of emotions, but they will pass and eventually settle to a new normal - probably very similar to the normal of today. And while I am anxiously awaiting what that new normal of marriage with my best friend will look like, tonight I am going to enjoy the solitude of my one bedroom apartment with a wild cat running back and forth over the hard wood floors.
Peace,
Sarah
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